July 22, 2014
Speaking truth to your adopted child

Speaking truth to your adopted child

thoughtfulgirl-inside(This is an edited repost from my defunct personal blog, which is why it references other posts from four years ago and Lost, for goodness sakes, like the olden days or something.)

Malinda posted about this parenting advice from Brian Stuy:

We have never brought up, unprompted, our daughters’ birth parents. We have discussed adoption, conception and pregnancy, and other corollary issues from time…

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July 16, 2014
Introverted Kids in Brain Child

Introverted Kids in Brain Child

introverted kidsI was interviewed for an article that appears in Brain Child Magazine this month.

Neither the introverted or extroverted personality is better than the other—they’re simply different, points out Dawn Friedman, a family therapist based in Worthington, Ohio.

Friedman knows of what she speaks. Her household includes a smart, funny 16-year-old introvert named Noah, who displayed a few innie quirks…

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July 15, 2014
"Angry" Adoptees

“Angry” Adoptees

angry adopteesI know many adoptees, and although this is not true across the board adoptees will never be pigeonholed, i’ve found that more often than not, when you look beyond the surface, the adoptees whom a casual observer may most likely label as an “angry adoptee” or see as being the most critical of different aspects of adoption, are often the very ones who have the closest and healthiest relationships…

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July 14, 2014
Small Books, Small Toys

Small Books, Small Toys

handprintsand-insideI just finished a kid’s book titled Return of the Twelves. It’s about a set of wooden soldiers once owned by Branwell Bronte and his sisters. The soldiers are alive and the little boy who finds them watches over them as one of their Genii (plural for genius).

When you’re a child small things are so appealing; this is why the sandtray is the most popular (and powerful) toy in my whole office. You…

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July 8, 2014
Parenting a difficult child

Parenting a difficult child

difficult childPerhaps the hardest thing about parenting a difficult child is the way that the day-to-day struggles undermines your confidence. It’s hard to feel good about yourself or your child when you wake up feeling helpless and dreading the day together. As the old saying goes, “You are only as happy as your unhappiest child”; when one child is struggling, the whole family follows.

With this in mind, I…

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Filed under: counseling 
June 30, 2014
8Tracks: Falling Water

Falling Water from thiswomanswork on 8tracks Radio.

Another 8Track Mixtape for you.

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Filed under: 8tracks mixtape mp3 
June 27, 2014
8Tracks: Running Water

Running Water from thiswomanswork on 8tracks Radio.

Playlist! Run, water, run!

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Filed under: 8tracks mixtape mp3 Music 
June 25, 2014
Crying in front of your counselor

Crying in front of your counselor

depression-insideI generally don’t think that your therapist’s personal experiences can tell you whether or not he or she will be a good therapist or the right therapist for you but there is one exception to this: I think every therapist ought to have had his or her own therapy. Not just to work through our stuff (‘cuz we all have stuff), but to intimately know the vulnerability of pouring your heart out to a…

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June 23, 2014
It’s not suffering that does damage

It’s not suffering that does damage

"It's not suffering that does the damage ..."The parental voice, it’s like the voice of God. It spoke to us with such power when we were small and so we carry it with us for good or for bad.

“Stop crying or I’ll give you something to cry about!” And we learn that our sadness is not true sadness.

“How can you be hungry? You just ate dinner!” And we learn that we can’t trust our own appetites.

“Come on now, Santa’s not scary; sit on his lap…

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June 20, 2014
Farming it out

shutterstock_43593604As I replied to Helen’s comment on this post, I don’t like to play with my kids. I like to play with other people’s kids in a structured, time-limited way such as the therapeutic hour because mostly what I’m doing is observing; with my own kids I’m counting down the minutes until I can go read my book. I don’t mind occasional (emphasis on occasional) board games, puzzles, building or other…

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